Could Dadi talk to us about subtle ego?

Interview: Dadi Hridaya Mohini Q&A – 29.5.2009 – Paris

Baba tells us that, when we become Brahmins, when we start following the path of spirituality, so often there is subtle ego of the knowledge that I have, the service I do or even the gathering that I’’m a part of. There are 2 words that are very close: body consciousness and the arrogance of the body. The consciousness of the body has in a way become habitual and Baba says this will limit you and bring you down the consciousness of my physical position and physical form and all the other physical things I’’m trapped by but beyond that there’’s the ego: I think my intellect is good, the way I think is very good, the things I’’d like to do are very good. That’’s in a sense a deeper stage. What happens is that in the ego of ‘I’ there is always the thought: my intellect works right, I think in the right way, my plans are right and everyone should agree with them. It’’s these thoughts that then cause a lot of waste thoughts to come, because so often that’s not fulfilled. This all creates a lot of Maya, a lot of false feelings and illusion. The way to deal with all of this is to think about being an instrument. In all situations Baba tells us that the two fundamental things to sort out are knowing ‘I’ and ‘my’. In the limited ‘my’ we know what happens and Baba says to think of Baba as ‘mine’, so you can be in the unlimited but the way to go beyond this is to come to the awareness of being an instrument.

If I think about God as the One who does everything and works through others – Karan Karavanhar – then I’m very aware that it’s not I who is doing anything but the One above is working through me and doing things directly too. The ego of the self can then go away and it’s easy to have the awareness of being the instrument. In that awareness the subtle ego is gone. For example, if, after coming to Baba, I am able to give good lectures, it’s very easy to think that I have done this and to have subtle ego about it. But I have to realise that it’s been a gift from God, a special blessing from God, so it’s not my achievement but something that’s come to me. And so remembering who it’s a gift from will remind me of the One above and I’ll be able to stay free from ego.

How does mansa seva (service through the mind) work?
Has anyone here experienced what mansa seva is?

Many have indicated that they have experienced it; have you seen the results of mansa seva? (Dadi is here!). So you remembered me with your mind? That Dadi should come. So you have the experience of how it works. In mansa seva whatever pure thought we have will be fulfilled. I have to make sure it’s nothing but pure thoughts and unlimited good wishes – not something limited for the self that I desire: for example not that the body is unwell and so I have to do mansa seva to get it well. To get the body well is another subject and it should be well, but that’’s not what mansa seva is about. To make sure my motive is very clean. When I do this my thoughts and feelings will be of the highest order – unlimited – and then I put them in front of Baba and Baba will fulfil them.

Why Baba is emphasising mansa seva now in particular is because the majority of souls around the world are in distress, suffering and unhappy. So Baba says: Let there be pure thoughts and good wishes for them so that with the power of your good wishes you are able to take away their sorrow and allow them to come into the awareness of the truth Baba’’s knowledge, because they can only be happy when they have found that knowledge and be able to move forward. Just first just send out those good wishes to subject of mansa seva. These three words have to be remembered:
1) pure thoughts
2) good wishes and
3) for the sake of service (being altruistic).

There should not be any thoughts for the except for the benefit and service of others.

How to experience God’s love for me?

First of all think about what is the basis of the relationship with God? The basis of the relationship is the fact that God is the Supreme Father of all of us, so it is the connection
of the Supreme Soul with the soul. In order to experience God’s love, first I have to make sure I’’m soul conscious and in that stage of soul consciousness I’’m able to connect with God and through that experience God’s love. If instead of soul consciousness there is any other limited consciousness or my mind is caught up with other limited desires, I’’m not able to connect and I’’m not able to experience God’’s love in my life. I have to check my own stage: whether I am truly soul conscious. Other desires cause a separation. The other thing is: to what extent do I have love for God?

It is said: love creates love. If my love is mixed, it’’s not possible for me to experience for me but if I have that love I will also be able to experience God’’s love reaching me.

Two words to remember here: relation and connection.

If there’s a relation, automatically there’s going to be a powerful experience. God is the Ocean of Love so, as His child, how come I am not experiencing His love. If there’s some weakness within me, that is the obstacle that prevents me experiencing that love. So let me be able to remove whatever weaknesses there are and I’’ll be able to experience that love from the Ocean. Secondly, the connection: because I have this relationship with God now I want to make this connection very real, so that in the experience of this connection I am able to receive all He wants to give me but I have to clean out my heart and make sure no other motives are there. Sometimes we say: If I do this, maybe Baba’s attention will be drawn to me. If I do this, maybe Baba will give me love. Not to do anything from limited motives in that way but from your heart, altruistically, and you’’ll find God’s love automatically is reaching you.

What is the difference between taking sakaash and taking blessings
from God?

When there’s a loving connection with Baba and Baba knows the child has a good heart, Baba also sees the child’s intentions are very pure and the child is an effort maker, but Baba also sees some weaknesses there, then Baba gives that sakaash, that special help, so that the child can remove those weaknesses. But sometimes the children don’t want to make that intense effort themselves, but they put it on Baba: Baba, you should help me. Why aren’’t you helping me? When it’’s that sort of feeling, it’’s like you’’re reminding God of what He needs to be doing and then you don’’t receive that sakaash. Simply that stage of being an honest effort maker and having that love for God, then Baba is able to give you sakaash and with that you are able to remove your weaknesses. Because a loving Mother and Father don’’t want the child to carry on having weaknesses; they want them to be removed.

Then there are blessings. Each day we receive blessings from Baba in the murli and we enjoy hearing them, because they are so beautiful. And sometimes you think about the blessings but it’s important to reflect very deeply on the significance of that particular blessing. Then as the day goes on and situations arise, that blessing will work for you in practical life. Then you have the power to deal with situation; you receive the fruit of the blessing at that moment. But if you’’ve simply heard it and you’’ve forgotten it, it’’s gone. Or if you’ve heard it and you’ve said at the time: It’s very good, it’s very beautiful… again it hasn’’t really stayed with you; you haven’t taken it as a blessing. But when you’’ve reflected deeply on that blessing, that means that blessing is for you and it can do it’s work through the day.

Baba has said that the blessing is like the seed. In order for the seed to germinate, it needs water and the light of the sun. Baba has given me the blessing but I need to water it now. The way to water the blessing is by keeping it in your awareness all the time, remembering it through the day and then it will bring fruits in the future. I also have to allow the sun to reach the seed, by practising the consciousness that Baba’’s talking about. For example, Baba has said to somebody: You are the master almighty authority. In that stage, if I practise that awareness, maintain that consciousness, it’’s like giving that blessing the sunlight and in that warmth and light of the sun, I can actually become that. Otherwise it just remains a thought but it is not my practical experience and so you don’’t experience any fruit. So that is the way to experience the value of the blessing. Baba has given us blessings and they are the seed but let me create that consciousness of being the master almighty authority, let me take on the practical form, and then I’’ll be the embodiment of that.

How to conquer fear of others?

Fear is a very negative state and it’’s very important to deal with it and finish it, because fear won’’t allow you to have yoga, to maintain your position of awareness within the self,
to stabilise yourself in the highest consciousness. In Hindi it’’s referred to as ‘the evil spirit’, and, when there’’s an evil spirit, you have to find the right method to be able to
deal with it. Dadi is giving practical, step-by-step instructions of how to deal with it. If I am afraid of someone it’’s probably because there is some weakness in me that this person
is reacting to. Maybe they scold me, they get angry or upset with me but the trigger is my own inner weakness. So let me find out what is the factor that is causing this breakdown
in communication. When I can understand what it is and have good wishes and good feelings for them, then let me communicate with them and if, through the communication things can be clarified and sorted out then they will understand me and I will understand them and I don’’t need to be afraid of them. Or, if I don’’t feel confident I am able to do this, let me be able to have a senior to intervene to bring us both together, so that we are then able to understand how to deal with it ourselves. Just use the method of maintaining pure feelings and good wishes for them and the feeling will be gone. Fear occupies space in your intellect and what happens then is that as you hear Baba’’s knowledge, Baba’s murli, you listen to it and enjoy – it sounds very lovely – but it’’s not actually working in your life, because you are not able to absorb it in your intellect, because fear is there in a subtle form, already occupying that space, so there’’s no margin for you to absorb what Baba is saying. Because of that block nothing further develops and so it’’s important to understand this and deal with that fear and remove it as soon as possible.

When Baba comes what is it like for Dadi?

I know that all of you enjoy hearing the murli and that’s important, that’s good, and you also know that the murli has all the shrimat, the directions that make us become elevated – the One who is doubly elevated (Shri Shri) gives us shrimat to become elevated too. But how can I actually become the embodiment of what Baba is saying? I enjoy hearing
Baba’s murli but in between becoming and hearing there is a step of reflection. Let me think deeply about what Baba has said, so that I am able to extract the power from that.
It’s like the nourishment of butter: the cream is churned and the butter is extracted and so my reflection on Baba’s murli is like extracting the butter from it so that I have the power
and nourishment to be able to imbibe it and become the embodiment of it, so make sure you continue to churn and reflect on what Baba has said.

The first step is that I usually go into trance, especially when it’s Baba’s day. When Baba is to come I go to the subtle region and there are often messages for Baba and in the subtle region I share those messages with Baba. There are two very beautiful experiences always meeting Baba in the subtle region. Firstly, Baba always has a beautiful smile. That smile makes us smile too. It’s like Baba is giving us the gift of always being able to smile – so it becomes a sanskar for us also. This becomes a gift from Baba at that moment. Secondly, meeting Baba in the subtle region in this way, it’s like Baba is really giving us the blessing of all the powers that are within Him; He is sharing that blessing with all of us. So, meeting Baba in the subtle region, I develop the gift of being able to smile always and the gift of having all the different powers.

Usually going to the subtle region there’’s news to share with Baba but when Baba is going to come it’’s not the time for sharing news. But there’’s a sweet meeting of the eyes with Baba and sometimes questions to Baba but then further Baba will say: OK, child, I’’m going down to meet the children. And Baba will come and the rest is whatever you see. What happens to me at that time is that Baba leaves me to be in the stage of sweet silence. It’’s a very beautiful experience. I am totally unaware of what Baba has said down below. I don’’t know the knowledge Baba has shared. I don’’t know the interaction Baba has had with all the people on the stage. But the experience of the sweet silence is such a beautiful one that, when Baba comes back again – during the period that Baba is down there I don’’t see Baba in the subtle region –it’’s the signal that that scene has finished and I feel I don’’t want to leave that lovely space of sweet silence. Baba will say: Child, I’’ve met the children and now it’’s time for you to return. Saying that, Baba will give me leave and I will come back down here.

All of you hear the murli first and I have to read it afterwards. If there is anyone who wants to talk privately to Baba at that moment, I am not aware of it at all; it’’s totally private – only Baba hears. This is why, because it’s a very sweet experience of silence, I never feel tired and then, when it’s time to come back, even if it’s been several hours you must have seen it – I am totally fresh. It’s because Baba has refreshed me with that sweet silence, so there’s no feeling of tiredness at all. But you are luckier than me, because you hear the murli first! But I have no other feeling about it, in the sense that I’‘m very happy to be an instrument for service. All of you get the murli first but in return I get that beautiful experience of sweet silence, which I enjoy also.

Are we allowed to be jealous of you?

There is nothing to be jealous of. Your jealousy won’t make things change! The gift of trance is a special blessing from God and you can’t have it just by asking for it or wanting
it. If you have the thought that you want it, then your intellect gets mixed and you won’’t be able to catch anything from Baba properly. So just be content and experience hearing
the messages in the murli.

This gift has been a blessing from God since I was eight years old and the very first time it happened was when Baba had come to Karachi and was in the home of one of my relatives holding satsang. I had gone along with my mother. Baba had spoken a murli but of course I wasn’t so interested in that but I was there listening. But whilst listening I went into trance and so that’’s become a gift that has stayed with me since then. But I was so innocent at that point that I couldn’’t even articulate what I had seen. I had seen a very beautiful scene of heaven but who did I see? Was it Rama, was it Krishna? I wouldn’’t have been able to say. I didn’’t understand what all that was about. So the blessing came suddenly. So maybe the gift will come to you suddenly also! (The interest is more in long periods of that deep silence, especially in the early days when Baba would come for 8-10 hours, rather than going into trance). Yes, that was a scene in drama then and it may come again but certainly what you have to do is experience that deep silence through your own effort.

Om shanti.